Quickly diving into a new relationship post-break-up is an appealing approach to moving on. Bringing in a new boo might seem like a quick fix for heartache, but the dynamic is usually more complicated. While a rebound does offer its perks, the downsides can blindside you if you’re not careful.
Breakups are notoriously tough and make a rebound relationship sound like an enticing solution. However, there are several vital factors to consider before leaping into this side of the dating pool. Here are some of the pros and cons that come with rebound relationships.
Pro #1: The Thrill of a New Fling
Spending time with someone new can be exhilarating, especially if you’ve been with the same partner for a long time. You may find that your rebound is a chance to explore a different space and have some much-needed fun. Breakups represent fresh chapters, and it is essential to discover what the current version of you truly wants. This discovery can cover both what you want out of future relationships and your preferences in the bedroom. Just be sure to practice safe sex during your explorations by using some type of birth control.
Pro #2: Taking Your Mind off Your Ex
Adding a fresh love interest into your life is a fast and effective way to get your mind off your old flame. You get to experience the excitement of getting to know someone and having new adventures. Letting your mind wander away from your ex can feel like a huge sigh of relief. Just ensure you’re not swapping out one fixation for another, especially if your split was super recent. If you’re obsessing over a new crush, examine if you’re working out your breakup issues.
Pro #3: Your Self Esteem Could Get a Much-Needed Boost
Feeling desired by another person can do wonders for your self-esteem and is especially appealing after a relationship ends. Everyone wants to feel like they’re wanted, and attention from a new crush can almost feel intoxicating. Getting back into the dating market is an excellent way to get the attention you crave. Dating apps make it especially easy to get a self-esteem boost from multiple people. But, while the admiration is great, remember that at the end of the day, only you determine your worthiness.
Pro #4: It Takes the Pressure Off
Breakups are hard enough without worrying about when you will find your next great love. Rebound relationships help take the pressure off the desire to move on to something bigger, especially if you’re not ready. Fun flings can be an easy way to get yourself back out there. A rebound can feel like taking a small step toward moving on and creating a different love life. Just be gentle with yourself and remember that you don’t have to have it all figured out right away.
While the exciting aspects of a rebound relationship are often considered first, it’s equally important — if not more so — to consider possible consequences. Ending a relationship is complicated, and the time after can be full of complicated feelings. Adding another person to the mix can potentially make matters worse.
Con #1: Potentially Delaying the Healing Process
You need time after a breakup to reflect and properly heal. Immediately jumping into another relationship could delay healing and lead you down a more destructive path. While separation can be excruciating, especially at first, you must move through it to get to the other side. You could be better off just going solo for a bit. Take your new independence and nurture other parts of life, like your hobbies, friendships, and career.
Con #2: Hurt Feelings and Broken Hearts
While it could just be a fun fling for you, the other person involved might not feel the same way. Be sure to communicate with dates where you’re coming from and what you want to get out of the situation. The last thing you want is to unintentionally hurt another person by leading them on. If you’re on the same page about a casual relationship, you can focus on having fun in the moment. If the other person wants more than you can offer right now, it’s best to move on and say goodbye.
Con #3: Unintentionally Attracting Unhealthy Dating Dynamics
Unfortunately, the world is full of hurtful people who exploit others for their own gain. Seeking a rebound relationship could unintentionally attract partners who are using you. Be cautious of the energy you’re putting off and mindful of quickly falling under a new lover’s spell. Breakups make you more vulnerable than usual, so do what you can to protect your heart from further damage. Trust your gut and run far away from any dynamic that isn’t in line with what you need and deserve.
Con #4: Opening Yourself Up To Bad Dates and Hookups
Entering the dating pool again comes with a certain amount of risk. Chances are you’ll have to push through at least one lousy dinner date or disappointing hook-up. The letdown is hard to deal with on top of the heavy emotions you’re experiencing post-breakup. The best way to protect your feelings is to try managing your expectations before meeting new people. Getting your hopes up too high leaves you feeling let down and stuck, even if you’re only looking to rebound.
To Rebound or Not to Rebound
The choice to rebound ultimately comes down to your underlying motivations. For example, if you’re running away from the pain or trying to fill a void, it is best to give yourself space. On the other hand, if you want to have some fun and discover what you desire, the dynamic could work.
Just ensure everyone understands the arrangement, and do regular check-ins to see if you’re getting what you need. Be patient with yourself, and remember that you will heal eventually. Spend this time exploring other ways to fulfill your life and uncover what’s in store for your next chapter.
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